Lani Miller


From the time I was eight years old, God has given me a deep burden for the lost and the desire to serve Him on the mission field. I will always remember lying awake at night as a young girl, praying for the gospel to be spread throughout the world as the Spirit would place specific regions of the world and certain missionary’s needs on my heart to pray for. I deeply treasured this time of praying for the Kingdom of God, thankful that the Lord would allow a girl as small as me to intercede for His people around the world. But for ten years I struggled with a fear that seemed beyond my control.

Almost every night, God would place India on my heart. For a reason altogether unknown to me, I experienced a fear so spiritually gripping that I would resist thinking about India with all of my might and would refuse to pray for God’s people there. I remember the Spirit prompting me to trust Him as He was inevitably bringing India to my mind. But I continuously responded by slamming down a steel door at the entrance of my heart and telling God, “No. I cannot pray for India... I am too afraid. And don’t you dare send me there one day!”. This fear carried into my daily life as even a simple piece of fabric that reminded me of India’s culture would cause me to freeze internally with dread.

It was not until the summer before my sophomore year of college that I experienced the redemptive work of God concerning this fear in my life. At the end of my freshman year at Biola University, a friend of mine at school asked if I would pray for him and his friend that summer as they were going to India for a month-long missions trip. While I said that I would, I internally questioned if I would be able to do so and knew that I would need to rely on God’s strength. Over the course of two months, I desperately called on the Lord every day to help me lift up my brothers in Christ. I often trembled as I brought their requests before the Lord, but as I continued to pray in the face of fear, God was at work, increasing my faith.

One specific day at the close of the summer, I found myself on my knees in my bedroom, weeping and shaking with the all too familiar fear that I had known since I was eight. As I prayed in faith that day, I asked the Lord to remove my fear and told Him that if He willed to send me to India some day to spread the gospel that I would be willing to go. At that exact

moment, the Lord completely removed my fear of India, just as if He had plucked a weed out of a garden bed. Since that day God has continued to replace what once resided as fear in my heart with the desire to go to India to share the love of Christ. Praise God!

As I am about to graduate in May, I have spent many months seeking God’s direction for the next season of my life. Through God’s Word and the work of His Spirit, the Lord has made it exceedingly clear to me that this is the time for me to pursue the mission field. I am asking the Lord to provide an opportunity to go to India beginning this fall. It is the desire of my heart to work with children in some capacity, hopefully by teaming with a missions organization that runs an orphanage or school. Throughout these past months, I have met with various men and women within the church to ask for prayer and wisdom as I am beginning to take the next steps towards serving in India. Please pray for me as I long for open hands, a discerning spirit, and an obedient heart. It is my prayer that your faith would likewise be strengthened as we seek the Kingdom of God together.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer.”

-Psalm 66:16-19

“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

-Psalm 25:4-5

“Ponder anew what the Almighty can do, who in His love does befriend you.” -Praise to the Lord, Hymn